There was a time in my life when I became incredibly good at carrying everything on my own. Not because I wanted to, but because I had to.

Divorce. Years of single motherhood. Building a community. Running an organization. Making endless decisions. Holding everyone else together while quietly carrying my own burdens. Somewhere along the way, I came to believe this was simply what strength looked like. The unexpected gift of those years was that they drove me closer to God. When there wasn’t another person to lean on, I learned to lean into Hashem. He became my source of strength, wisdom, comfort, and hope. He carried me through days I never imagined I would survive. I discovered something I hope I never forget: no human being can ever occupy the place that belongs only to God.

Hashem became my true Partner.

Then life surprised me. In this new chapter, I have been experiencing something that honestly feels miraculous.For the first time, I know what true partnership feels like. Not someone who “helps” when it’s convenient. Not someone who occasionally lightens my load. But someone who genuinely sees our life as our responsibility. My husband, Avromie, doesn’t stand beside me as a spectator. He stands beside me as a partner. He carries the emotional weight. The practical weight. The spiritual weight. The everyday decisions. The celebrations. The disappointments. When something needs to be done, he doesn’t wait to be asked. He simply shows up because that’s what partners do. For the first time in a very long time, I don’t feel like I’m carrying life alone. And if I’m honest, that has been both beautiful… and a little frightening. Because one fear has quietly lived inside me for years. What if I lean on another human being so much that I slowly stop leaning on God? After depending so completely on Hashem for so many years, I worried that a wonderful marriage might unintentionally shift my heart. That my husband might become my source instead of God. But what I’ve discovered is exactly the opposite.

One of the greatest gifts in my marriage is that Avromie would never allow himself to take God’s place. His day begins with prayer. Faith is woven into our conversations, our decisions, our challenges, and our celebrations. When something beautiful happens, our first response is gratitude to Hashem. When something difficult happens, our first instinct is to ask, “What is God asking of us?” and to seek His guidance together. Instead of pulling me away from God, this marriage draws me closer to Him. The Torah describes a spouse as an ezer k’negdo—a helper and counterpart. Not someone who takes over our lives. Not someone we worship. But someone who walks beside us, helping us become the people God created us to be.

I’ve often thought of marriage as a triangle. A triangle is one of the strongest structures in the world. God stands at the top. Each spouse stands at one of the lower corners. The closer each person moves toward God, the closer they naturally become to one another. For years I thought strength meant carrying everything myself. Now I believe strength sometimes looks like trusting God enough to receive the gifts He sends.

Sometimes His kindness comes through unexpected peace, and sometimes it comes through another human being who quietly says, “We’re in this together.”

Not instead of God. Because of Him. When God is at the center of a marriage, each spouse is freed from trying to be everything for the other. No human being was ever meant to carry that responsibility. Only Hashem can. Paradoxically, it’s precisely when we stop expecting our spouse to fill God’s role that we become the very best partners to one another. We are free to love without fear, to support without rescuing, to carry each other’s burdens without trying to become each other’s source.

I’m breathing a little deeper these days. Not because life has become easier. Life still has its challenges. But because I finally understand something I wish I’d known years ago. The safest place to lean into another person is when you’re both already leaning into God.

God is our Source. Our spouse is our partner. And when each person keeps turning toward Hashem, they naturally find themselves turning toward one another. Perhaps that’s why the Torah’s vision of marriage has endured for thousands of years. It was never simply about two people building a life together. It was always about three.

A husband.
A wife.
And God—the One who holds them together.

For so many years, I thought my story was about learning to stand alone with God. Now I realize it was preparing me for something even more beautiful. To know what it feels like to stand with another person while both of us stand with Him.

That is the strongest triangle of all.