Every year, the Three Weeks arrive. We remember the tragedies of our past, observe the customs of mourning, and remind ourselves that our Sages teach the destruction of the Beis Hamikdash was rooted in baseless hatred. But this year, I found myself asking a different question. If we know that love, respect, and kindness toward one another are the antidote, what does that actually look like in my everyday life?

One place I’ve been thinking about is our conversations. What fills our Shabbat tables? What do our walks with friends sound like? Are our words filled with ideas, growth, Torah, laughter, and meaningful conversation? Or do they slowly drift toward discussing other people, analyzing their choices, and sharing the latest gossip? I am far from perfect, but this is something I’ve worked hard to bring into our home. I want my children to know that we don’t build ourselves by tearing someone else down, and that every person deserves dignity, even when they aren’t in the room.

This week, two conversations with my daughters reminded me that our children are always listening. One shared that she spent Shabbat somewhere and felt uncomfortable because so much of the conversation revolved around commenting on other people. The fact that she even noticed it filled me with gratitude. Another daughter called from camp. She described a conversation where girls were criticizing and comparing camp directors. She quietly chose not to participate. Later, she told her friends something we often say at home: “Don’t spit in the well you drink from.” No place is perfect, but we can still choose gratitude and respect I wasn’t proud because my daughters were perfect. I was proud because they had become sensitive to the power of words. Perhaps that’s one of the greatest lessons of these Three Weeks. Not simply to remember what was lost, but to ask ourselves whether our words are helping rebuild what was destroyed

Maybe this week, we can each listen a little more carefully to the conversations around our own tables. Because every kind word, every conversation filled with purpose instead of criticism, and every moment we choose dignity over gossip is another small stone in rebuilding the world we are all praying for.